The Official Lenny Bruce Site

The Only Site Approved By Lenny Bruce's Daughter; Kitty

Famous Quotes

A famous comedian once said, “Lenny Bruce’s legacy is freedom of speech and telling it as it is, getting your life and putting it out on the table, telling everyone about it.”

“I rode with him in a taxi once,only for a mile and a half. Seemed like it took a couple of months” – Bob Dylan

“Lenny Bruce died from an overdose of police” – Phil Spector

“Bruce stands up against all limitations on the flesh and spirit, and someday they are going to crush him for it.” – The New York Post

“But like all the truly important people in the world, he’s dead but he”ll live on.” – Ralph J. Gleason

Quotes by Lenny Bruce :

“I’ve been accused of bad taste, and I’ll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.” “I’m sorry I haven’t been funny. I am not a comedian. I am Lenny Bruce.”

“The kind of sickness I wish Time had written about, is that school teachers in Oklahoma get a top annual salary of $4000, while Sammy David, Jr. gets $10,000 a week in Vegas.”

“If you’re from New York and you’re Catholic, you’re still Jewish. If you’re from Butte Montana and you’re Jewish, you’re still goyisch. The Air Force is Jewish, the Marine Corps dangerous goyisch. Rye Bread is Jewish, instant potatoes, scary goyisch. Eddie Cantor is goyisch, George Jessel is goyisch-Coleman Hawkins is Jewish.”

“If something about the human body disgusts you complain to the manufacturer.”

“If a titty is pretty, it’s dirty but not if it’s bloody and maimed.”

“A lot of people say to me, “Why did you kill Christ?” “I dunno… it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.” “We killed him because he didn’t want to become a doctor, that’s why we killed him.”

“All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.”

“Communism is like one big phone company.”

“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”

“I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do.”

“I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.”

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. “

“In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.”

“Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.”

“Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers, will allow you to satirize it which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.”

“The “what should be” never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no “what should be,” there is only what is.”

“The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.”

“The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – they’ll take you away, man. You can’t.”

“The reason I’m in this business, I assume all performers are – it’s “Look at me, Ma!” It is acceptance, you know – “Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma.” And if your mother watches, you’ll show off till you’re exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew!”

“The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.”

“Today’s comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an “act” and he told the audience, “This is my act.” Today’s comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he’s telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.”

“When you’re eight years old nothing is your business.”

© 2007 The Estate of Lenny Bruce